The New All-American Houseparty

(8/3/20)

This Summer, houseparties and communal keg stands are cancelled, but you can still get your most coveted party fails, un-P.C. trash talking, gossip, MMF* fights, Chick-fights, profanity & social drama, 24/7 from your government*! We even deliver it directly to you for free!!!

(provided you have access out from under that rock)

Would that make it a socialist party? Oh no, just a historic government sponsored social party!!! Free community access to the party for all through your local public Corona-Hoaxers & Corona-Phobes, radio station hosts, pundits, promoters like the isolated neighbor looking for company, abuelas & the newly  revitalized daily Corona Briefings!

But Wait!!!

We didn't forget; for those with kids, we have hot-potato: the blame-game. The game where our participants can compete against their own teammates for an extra challenge, but with more hegemonic rewards!

This summer you can delight in girls fighting over who’s “data” is better, bros feeling up chicks, myriad chicks competing to be the chosen one by the older, mature, popular guy of the party. Put down that beer and pickup your checkbook***, cause this summer is going to be the biggest non-stop party of your life!!

* International Access available online (except Cuba, China, Macondo, & North Korea)

**Mixed Mind F###

***Preferred method of payment for pre-distopian generations who were paid for their labor (when male & etc.......)