Professional Librarians Replace State Police Force

(5/Wed?/20) California’s plan to reopen the state was modified Tuesday by Governor Newsom’s executive order to immediately return socially distanced librarians at home to work.

After determining the cause for chaos during the pandemic to be a lack of dull, reliable information, and a confluence of bewildering misinformation and deleterious disinformation, California state Governor, Gavin Newsom has ordered police officers to be replaced by socially distanced digital librarians.

PEDOS (Proper Exchange of Data Outreach Services): “Know, not No”, is a new measure aimed to prevent the spread of INFARTS (Information Not For Adults Really To Spread). Despite observations from opponents that the ambiguous name of the program ironically encourages INFARTS with its unintended juvenile humor, the measure was approved by a 3561 to 1483 majority in the Surrealist majority ruled House of Confusion.

PEDOS: “Know, not No" aims to provide free obligatory training in manipulation detection, gas lighting prevention and the latest anti-troll protection in exchange for free high speed internet access. Despite the urgent need and state requirement: there are zero enrollees in the program and an increase in public demonstrations and mass gatherings as a blowback of the mandatory component of the program.