Forgotten Pets Begin to Form Tribes and Trace New Colonial Boundaries

Forgotten Pets Begin to Form Tribes and Trace New Colonial Boundaries

(3/17/20)

Reports from West Seattle describe an apocalyptic scene as summer home owners invade the city, impacting independent purist coffee shops with their requests for extra whip cream, creamer, frappes, small grandes and the quintessential extra pump of caramel. Local orthodox coffee roasters’ unions have threatened to drastically reduce production or only offer decaf if their product continues to be sodomized publicly by the coffee neophytes who refuse to return to their regular homes.

Meanwhile, all across the country, there have been sightings of cross-species fraternization and negations in the newly vacated residences of the emigrants. The intentions of the pets is still unclear, as one can see from the surveillance photo of the Baconia flag that was capture with drone footage. Detectives alongside newly employed linguists, holistic archaeological profilers, cartographers, and travel agents are debating whether it is a declaration of the sovereignty of the new nation of Baconia, that offers free premium pet cookies for all pets regardless of class or phylum, or a cry for a more inclusive canine Latin language curriculum.