Linguistic Link to COVID-19

Linguistic Link to COVID-19 Spread

(4/1/20)

Corona Chronicles will be offering free access to the written letter “T” for the time being so that the general public has access to important information until oral /t/ is extinguished.

The letter “T” when pronounced in Latin-based languages enhances the distance micro droplets can travel. The high number of confirmed COVID-19 cases in Spain & Italy confirm this beyond the need for any suspicion or review for a toddler’s comprehension and underdeveloped logical reasoning.

After extensive extemporaneous flash research, The Language Authority of the World (LAW) will be revoking linguistic privilege to the letter “T”.

To properly pronounce a Spanish /t/ the speaker must place their tongue against the ALVEOLAR ridge and purposefully let out a BURST of AIR! This has been deemed a criminal offense and the L.A.W. was invited to lead discussions for potential containment options.

Many already existing and newly created unaspirated letters & phonemes were created to replace /t/, but after review of the rapid compliance and adherence to the omission of the “uh” sound in ‘Merica, members of the L.A.W., the United Nations, the F.B.I, Dr.s Anthony Fauci & Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the U.S. Spaceforce, Mordor, Coca-Cola, Tuvala, Kate Del Castillo, Qatar, Chipotle, O.P.E.C., U.N.A.M., S.E.V.I.S., M-I-C-K-E-Ym-o-u-s-e!, the Ottoman Empire, ‘Merican Tactical Skittles Co., & Texas unanimously signed bilateral agreements to suspend & criminalize the use of /t/ in ALL LANGUAGES EVERYWHERE  in order to minimize potential for error & the spread of contaminated microdroplets. The rights to the creative spelling and pronunciation of New English are currently under negotiation by unemployed trolls everywhere. 

College students across the nation report to have unlocked the key to English spelling, composition, comprehension, arithmetic and sex with the omission of /t/ and the adoption of a reasonable language.

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Examples of approved New English Commonly Used Words:

Axes/Taxes

Exes/ Texas

Ina/China

Donald Rump/Donald Trump

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