Brit Shares Thoughts on Barmy Americans

(7/8/20) Rural Town, USA. British Packpacker Delighted & Bewildered by America’s Expedited Reopening

The British Backpacker(Johnny Appleseed) at the local wateringhole in a local rural town shared his sage wisdom and verses of errant ennui. He comparted with imbibing American nationals that he was puzzled by the businesses & services that were beginning to reopen as cases of COVID rose; hence exacerbating an already tense situation.

Johnny had been able to avert detection/deportation by travelling thousands of miles on motocycle across the continental United States. He warned that in cities where the “fake news” claimed cases had been mitigted and were now "under control”, were in fact, some of the worst of all.

He was most perplexed by the Americans’ trouble processing statistical data, leading to contrary actions by EVERYONE.

Fortunately, he remarked, his trip was not ruined because he is still able to visit American businesses, destinations and go sightseeing. Inclusively, American  strangers approach him, in violation of the 6ft. social distancing norm,  without apprehension, due to his charming British accent that can describe all the COVID patients he has been around over the past 3 months.

After finishing his hourlong story, Johnny Appleseed left the 5 hypnotized Americans to continue his travels in a new town where he can continue sharing/spreading more verses about his experience/exposure and the Pandemic.