Covert Romance 001

Could be Worse

It took Cynthia 14 minutes to step out her door after hearing her first ‘meh’. You see 35 year old Cynthia finally realized the sweet hum of the PlayStation siren had lulled the libido and brains of single men to sleep. Dear Cynthia did something she vowed she would never do; she enlisted the services of a dating app.

CouldBWorse by Alphabet is the newest dating app to capture people's hearts with it’s attention to Real Life. There are no filters allowed on photos which must be no older than 6 months. Rather than an upbeat chime for notifications, a realistic reply like “meh” or *extended sigh* sounds are programmed to keep your heads out of the clouds and of course soften your inevitable fall when you daydream of sexy nurse Kandi and it’s potato salad Karen.

Al heard Cynthia’s cart squeak around a slippery corner; Al had just popped a grape with his shopping cart without considering the consequences the gooeyness of his sensory satisfaction could incur. Cynthia adjusted her clothes after taking the sharp corner and sliding on a slick floor. She chided herself for her insincere eagerness, but consoled herself with the equally insincere excuse that it was just due to the novelty of the app, and not her record dry spell.

The app directs you towards your potential match at an agreed upon public meeting place that provides essential services in order to diminish environmental biases, The CouldBWorse provides users with a “kill switch” to turn off your beacon if a red flag is made visible. Cynthia sighed and triggered the Kill Switch before arriving to the deli where her match, Maximo the butcher, was awaiting her.