How to: Zookeeping

I Live in a Zoo

5/22/20

My resumé includes an eclectic list of jobs: teacher’s assistant, day camp counselor, tutor, bartender, professor, cashier, administrator, spokesmodel, janitor, barista, cashier, cocktail waitress, teacher and now ZOOKEEPER. Well, zookeeper of the metaphorical elephants pounding their feet and flailing their trunks all over my body.

I treated my invisible symptoms like the invisible elephant in the room for too long. What ensued, was a stampede. The term medical professionals prefer to use is flare up. The stampede paralyzed my left half for 3 days and sent me to the hospital pleading for steroids like a junkie.

Nobody will point out invisible symptoms to me; you? Maybe that’s the novela moment, when the man/woman you never noticed romantically says “I was watching you, and you’re using your glasses more. Is your optic neuritis acting up?”. That’s the moment you lose your breathe and swoon, have flashbacks to all the times he laughed with you during psychotic fits of tearful PBA (pseudo bulbar affect), held the door open and held you steady when you stumbled after a spasm, remembered your dog’s birthday because it’s the same as his grandmother who he loved with so much cariño because he’s the strong sensitive type with manageable demons/baggage who can cry at the right moment, and you realize he’s not JUST the security guard, and...al regreso…but life is not a novela.

Of course not! It’s more of the romantic comedy, and the romcom moment happens when he/she says “G.I. Jane, I been hearing a lotta gastrointestinal friendly fire over there. Is that a new medication's symptom, or you got something else going on?” Then your mortified, exposed, but burst out laughing after he unleashes deafening flatulence, before picking you up and charging out of the room to spare you the stench and leave everyone else in the office crop dusted and gasping for air. Then you lie on the fresh grass at dusk, and discuss treatment options until dark and then you trace constellations & anatomical features together until sunrise. No, that’s not quite right either,

We get so good at hiding these invisible symptoms. Too good that we start to accept them as normal, and sometimes that’s too late. I started cutting back on over the counter medication that all my different doctors had recommended over the years. The list was massive and I was spending all of my discretionary income on them since they’re not covered by insurance.

These extra supplements weren't prescription, so they can’t be that powerful? I started to dabble in straying from the doctors recommendations. How could I be sure I needed them all? I could consolidate! I don’t need probiotics, didn’t use them before, fish oil for my inflamed joints, CoQ10 for my fatigue. I’m an educated woman, but not a pedicure princess, I can’t see my PH, and is it really that important? Inflamed joints, eh, there are bigger problems. I’m sure there’s a jarabe for that to treat them all!

I have reordered most all the supplements and OTC medication, but am still dealing with the effects of the flare up so I can’t provide a good review of how returning to doctor recommended OTC & supplements have helped yet. All I can say is that I won’t ignore my subtle symptoms anymore, and I hope you won’t either.

al regreso……….

#cagadadelarisa #jarabe #PBA #pseudobulbaraffect #footdrop